A Land Without Magic…

It has been over a year since he left me. Or maybe more accurately I forced him to finally admit he was already gone.  During my time with him, things were good, things were bad, things were just part of life.  I can see now that the relationship became toxic because I did not take a stand when i needed to.  I have to admit my part in allowing myself to be abused and take responsibility for my actions as a result of the pain i felt.

For a year now, I have not pushed myself to believe that there is more to life that what is in front of me.  Stark, stale, boring reality.  In some ways, seeing the world this way has been great.  I do not want more than i have.  I do not push to do more than i am capable of.  But also, I do not believe the world can be changed or that my voice matters.  I am not that significant. Things related to imagination have been more difficult to do.  Even playing a card game I have played since I was 6 or 7.  Magic, the gathering;  I love the game.  Always have.

In middle school I played with my best friends, Tim, Jeff, and Jason.  Before that I dreamed of being an Artist for Wizards of the Coast.  I wanted to be able to make beautiful, magical things that gave joy to people.  I wanted people to have something special, like I have found in the game.  Playing with Tim, Jeff, and Jason solidified that.  They were my family because mine was kind of terrible.  I still have everyone’s favorite card.  I am 32, I have no pictures of family in my home, but i have 3 cards that i cherish from them.  But, I cannot play the game anymore.  I can barely sort cards or build a deck.  I get anxious, I wonder why i am wasting my time.  What skills am I gaining?  Who cares that I know about wizards or goblins or chain casting spells to a fun and unpredictable outcome?

What if thinking i can understand someone based on their play style and card choice has always been a delusion?   I have actually structured types of therapy, and socialization exercises based on my experiences and studies.  But I cannot bring myself to believe it can create anything worthwhile because it is not the concrete comfort I have settled into since the end of that difficult relationship.

But, I miss it.  I miss the imagination it took to believe that old or existing concepts hold the keys to improving the world, whether it be person by person, system by system, or in a grand wave.  I miss the confidence I had when I believed that there would be a moment when I connect just the right ideas, like chaining spells, and something fun and unpredictable would emerge.  I am not a sorcerer.  I live in a land without magic.  However, I do not want to feel like wishing I can be like a sorcerer is not just childish but potentially seen as though I do not understand reality.

I believe that I understand reality too much.  I believe that the reason we have these stories and these fantasies is because collectively we understand something that when we try to describe it, all that comes out is dragons, swords, magic, and heroes.  Reality is what we collectively make it.  One person, yelling about dragons on a street corner is said to be insane.  But if we stop and hear that person’s terror or maybe even their joy in their encounter with this dragon, there maybe a magic in it we have yet to discover.

I have this idea for a guild.  A structure that goes beyond the boundaries that have appeared around me.  The idea has promise.  But, I am not sure how to make it more than an idea, more than the sleeping dragon no one wants to hear about, more than the idea we can introduce magic into this land.

I do not like the fact I gave up on my Guild Called Fairytale.  Even if I am the only member, I want to share the idea that there is more beyond what can feel like a stark, stale, boring reality.   Spells are nothing more than finding the right combination of words that change someone’s reality.  I do what I do because no matter how much I try to, I cannot out run that belief.  I will always want to be a sorcerer and the guildmaster of A Guild Called Fairytale.


Activism 100: Time Management

Do not assume that managing time for any task is simple.  Planning for engaging in activism is even more difficult.  Fact is that unless you have a highly flexible job or pro-civil rights or social justice job, you cannot just engage in a protest with out some sort of notification.

Let’s just simplify it:
-Choose your cause.
-Choose your outlet for advocating.  Website? Emails? Letter writing? Envelope stuffing? Facebook page? Volunteering? Graffiti?
-Choose your frequency of commitment?  can you take it on daily? weekly? twice a month? monthly?  Does that still make you feel like you are contributing?
-Then DO IT.

I am not a fan of some things that are happening with the Government that presides over my country.
I think that emailing them would be a good idea.
I choose to email them on the 1st and 3rd week of the month.
I have asked people to coordinate emailing with me.  They don’t want to.  I continue anyway.
I decide to add on things like writing little articles that may or may not make a difference.

Realistically, if you take the time to plan, it is quite amazing what you can do with an hour a week..

Think about it.  More to come.

The Sorcerer, A Guild Called Fairytale.

Image result for arcanis the omnipotent wallpaper

Activism 101: Email

With all that is happening in the country I live, I thought a quick tutorial on basic cyber activism might be a good idea.

Note: Please do not take my excessive sarcasm for anything more than sarcasm.  Please do not think I am endorsing threats or unreasonable expectations upon others.

Think about what might happen if 100 people emailed your representative repeatedly.  What about 1000?  or more?
I present a simple idea.  1st and 3rd.  Pick at day of the week.  Then every month on the first and third week on the day you chose, email your representatives in congress.  Email the president, VP, or anyone/ everyone in government.
No matter what country you live in emailing any terrible leader is a great expressive outlet and literally sends a message.

Wait! Isn’t that harassment?  NO.  We as the people put them in office.  They are accountable to us.  They put themselves in the spotlight.  If it makes you feel better, put a disclaimer.

” I will continue to send this email until I feel this issues has been resolved to my satisfaction.”

“How will this make a difference?” you ask.
Well it does more than just uninstalling a damn app. or just posting about how you want to help protesters in a state you never plan to visit.
What if you and your activist friends all do this?  What if they all recruit 10 people to do this.  Then 10 more and so on?
What if we disrupt government servers by dumping so much in to their emails?  or prove that 10,000+ emails cannot disrupt them, so that we can then ask the question why our internet costs so damn much for piss poor connectivity?

This is simple way that groups of people can unite to protest.  There are add ons for/ built in features of email services to auto send emails.

Simple recap:
Pick a day.
Email the government official or office that you want to be accountable on that day every other week.
Tell your friends to do it.  Agree on a time.  Do it together.
Tell your friends to tell their friends.

EDIT:  I understand there are plenty of reps that have fill in contacts on their sites.  It appears Trump might one of them as there has been no update as to if comments@whitehouse.gov or president@whitehouse.gov currently useful at the time of this post.  In these cases it is best to copy and paste something pre-written.

I do not call myself an activist.  I am a protagonist.  I want to protagonize my world.

I email out every Tuesday from the west Coast.
If you have any questions or run into road blocks contact me.

I am The Sorcerer from A Guild Called Fairytale.


Image result for arcanis the omnipotent wallpaper

To Be Without A Tribe…

Intros are difficult and often useless.  If you have any questions contact me and I will update things.

I am not a lonely person, but I do feel alone.  I have a partner.  I have friends.  I have colleagues.  I have… A life.  However, I do not have a tribe.  My family was a broken one.  My parents are no longer alive.  I spent most of my childhood being…not a child.   My friends have not experienced some of the things I have and do not have the ability or capacity to support or at times understand me.

I know that my experiences are my own.  I know that it is my responsibility to relay my needs and expectations to others. I know that I must except others as they are even if as they are separates them from myself.  But it has left me with out a tribe.

Knowing these things and seeing the world becoming more dangerous and unpredictable, I have decided to make a guild.  I have decided to find my tribe, or create one from nothing.

I am The Fool.  Guild Master of a guild called Fairytale.

Image from Persona Series